5 Things I Have Learned from Being an Anxious Child

 

Creative, unique, intuitive, empathetic, and funny are words I would use to describe my 13-year-old daughter.  Last night, I asked for her help in brainstorming possible topics to add to my blog. Since she is the person suffering from debilitating anxiety, I was hopeful that she could shed some light on much-needed topics.  I prompted her with “5 Things I Learned About…” and she responded with “being an anxious child”. What a fantastic idea. She asked if she could write about being an anxious child.   So, this post is “written” by J, with the hope that others will hear the struggle in her words and be more understanding of how hard life is for children struggling with daily anxiety.

J often wishes she could be a “typical” teenager.  She so badly wants to wake up and mope off to the bus half asleep, walk into class and chat about gossip, and attend school dances and football games.   Instead, she wakes up with the pressure of making it through the day knowing she will battle her demons off and on every waking minute. She will not ride the bus, walk into school without assistance, or chat with classmates because her anxiety is so strong.  Read on as J describes what it is like being an anxious child. 

You Can Never Give Up

There are so many days that I want to quit everything and curl up on the couch because I have less anxiety when I sit and watch my iPad.  It feels better because I am less anxious but I know that I have to do things like school. I am so tired every day from just making it through the day.  I cannot give up though. I want to live a normal life so I have to keep fighting my anxiety until I win.

You Won’t Succeed the First Time

I have goals for many things in life.  The goals are set by me or my parents or my counselor.  They can be little or big. I never succeed the first time.  My anxiety always makes me quit or not even try. It takes a lot of tries for me to do something that I am anxious about but I keep trying.  Don’t stop trying just because it didn’t work the first time. Keep going.

Bad Days Happen

My counselor taught me, and my mom, that bad days happen.  These bad days cannot upset you.  They are just part of life. When I do not meet my goals or I just have to quit because I am so tired of trying, I have to remind myself, and my mom, those bad days are OK.  I cannot let myself get upset or feel guilty. I just have to work harder the next time.

It is Hard to Make Friends

It is hard to make friends with anxiety because you cannot do normal stuff.  I am totally normal but I cannot just go into class, go out to Starbucks, or go to sleepovers when I am anxious.  Kids think I am weird because they do not understand what severe anxiety is like. Friends try to help but when I am so anxious I am just annoying to them.  When I am not around for a while, they just move on and forget about me.

It is Hard to Grow Up

It is hard to grow up because I cannot do normal things.  I have so much adult stuff that I am dealing with that I do not get to relax and be a kid.  I am worried about so many things that I do not need to worry about at this age. I work so hard on making it through the day that I am tired and just want to sit around after school.  

 

Listening to my daughter “write” this breaks my heart.  Childhood is supposed to be spent having fun and being carefree, yet anxiety has stripped my daughter of these joys.  I see improvements and know that there are many moments of celebration and happiness in our lives, and we appreciate these moments, even more, knowing how hard they can be to find, but it pains me to know the struggles she faces every day.  

 

To anyone reading this, anxiety is invisible.  It presents itself differently in every person. Be kind and understanding.  Being an anxious child is an exhausting battle that nobody should have to deal with.  I challenge you all to reach out to one person today and do something unexpectedly kind.  Share what you did below.

Related:  Click here to see J’s current IEP Plan for school anxiety.